she was everything he could have wanted, and secretly more. a diamond at her best. giving him all she had and more. but something was missing; her admiration. a mild act of love but always a stray. lovers came by the handful, desperately being sought out for what she longed for most; true love. lust at it's best, with all of them. that shining diamond was becoming a dulled teardrop shaped pearl, if that. he was always happy, getting what he wanted, a spoiled child, he had all of her soul and body, and she had only half that. there was something driving her into sadness, she could not explain it. nothing could seem to fill, drugs, alcohol, sex, freinds. ridden by guilt of deception, but never being true. she could not bring herself to care, but still she stayed. she could not bare to be without him, and yet at the same time, he could notmake her happy. her troubled life had been getting the best of her and a downward spiral was coming on. she wasnt even her own best friend, and constantly dwelled in in answers to her tortured feelings. if only she could find the one, the one who could keep her together, and hold her attention and dedication. no one had seem to be worth her while, but still she settled. she was among the best, and at the same time among the worst. a walking contradiction of love. still young, she was tortured by thoughts of lonliness, haunting her heart and eating her up inside. she had not meant to be unfaithful to them all, and tried to stay commited and interested, but could not lie to herself for more than a year or two at a time. she was a mess, a soldier, and a lush all at the same time. independence and co-dependence collided inside her, tearing her entity apart. she was widdling away, bit by bit becoming dimmer and dimmer. but still she stayed, by his side, doing everything for him, asking for next to nothing in return. she was stuck, and wiled at the same time. he wasnt enough, but he was her everything in a world to her of nothing. he knew nothing, she was lovebound.